Moose Toboggan


Continuing our assault on Indonesia we’ve moved on from Ubud, with all of the lovely rice paddies, lush jungle, numerous temples and shambling tourists, to the small island of Nusa Lembongan – or Moose Toboggan as Swanson and I like to call it. It’s a nice, sparsely populated little place favourited by the surfer breed. I think that we are the only ones staying at our hotel that don’t ride the waves. It’s an odd assortment of characters lurching about here. Most of them are Australians. Need I say more? 🙂


Cool things built into the cliffs.


Samples at a local Ubud coffee plantation. Tried the coffee that weird little cats eat the beans, then poop them out where they get cleaned and roasted. Pretty damn good actually. And not a trace of poop flavour.


Opened up right beside the Right Said Fred Bakery.


Recreating the opening scene of X-Men.


For some reason there’s keys and lock on the outside of the bathroom door.


Lovely rice paddies.


Just watch where you step in the lovely rice patties.

I’m quite impressed with the age bracket that the surfers fall into. Of course you have the young men and woman, all tanned, buff, blonde hair with that cliched surfer drawl. But you also have the older set – I’d say up into the sixties – all tanned, buff, blond with that cliched drawl. Nice folks. Makes me a tad envious that I never learned to surf as it looks like a good fraternity to be involved in.

But it’s not all Jeff Spicoli’s and Soul Surfers here. Our little complex is filled with an odd assortment of travelers. There’s an old silver maned dude with nipple rings who shares his bungalow with a younger studly local boy. I’m not one to judge, I’m just an observer of the human condition, and folks should be free to do as they please but the power dynamic is a little off-putting. There’s an awesome looking older woman with Heat Miser hair and some face tattoos – a diamond in between her eyebrows and a couple of tear drops leaking out of her right eye. She could be a long lost sister of Red from Orange is the New Black who’s done a stretch in some remote Gulag in northern Russia. Maybe a duece – 10 years for each teardrop. And there’s lots of threesomes. 2 girls and a dude or 2 dude’s and a woman. I don’t know what the relationship between everyone is, but I can pretty much guess. They don’t seem like siblings. It’s kind of like Melrose Place around here.

The first day we were here an old Australian guy with handle-bar mustache, a huge gut and tiny bathing suit chatted me up in the pool. This guy wouldn’t stop talking – telling me how he travels to this part of the world all the time and everything in between. I appreciated some of the info he was laying on me but he was a big know-it-all seemingly trying to make me feel like a novice traveller. Bit of a knob. I forgot most of what he said as soon as he said it. Saw him going out later than evening in his “dress clothes” which consisted of ugly shorts and a Jack Daniels tank-top. Looking good dude. He left the next day so I didn’t get a chance to listen to him anymore.

It’s a small island with not much to do but lay around, swim, eat and read. Lots of reading as the wifi is pretty terrible on the island. It’s taken me days to even put this post together.

We spend our time by and in the pool. Swanson loves the water. There’s not much of a town here but we did manage to get out and walk around the dusty roads.  Saw some stuff. Took some photos. Pretty cool.

And the town is riddled with goddamn roosters. Someone should get them a watch as I’m pretty sure dawn isn’t cracking here at 3:30am. Idiots.


Swanson doing his Abe Sapien impersonation.


Indonesian grave yard. Shady.


This boat goes to 11!


Found the name of my new business!


Tasty satays served inside a ceramic pig. A little irony there I suppose.


Moose Toboggan bank machine. And hair cut.

We move on in a couple of days to Lombok where we will attempt to renew our Indonesian visas. Chatty know-it-all guy just says, “Good luck” with a condescending asshole smirk when I tell him of this plan. But truth be told, I’m a bit worried as I’ve heard it can be a bit of a gong show. Hopefully we won’t have to bribe anyone (as I saw our driver do one day after being pulled over at a stop-check). Stay tuned…

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