Sexy in Sevilla

A beautiful sunny day awaited us upon awaking. With the unpleasant memories of the previous day tucked away in the back of our brains, we set out for some new and exciting adventures in Sevilla. We needed to get out into the city, get some coffee, get some pastries, get our bearings and get some groceries. Lots of getting to be done today. Armed with a map and some new-found enthusiasm, we hit the streets. Sevilla is a beautiful, if not confusing, city. I’m pretty good with directions but this city seriously fucked my shit up. And the longer we stayed, the more confused I got. But that’s part of the fun of travelling – getting lost in an old, historic cool town.

But first coffee. We enjoyed a nice cup of joe near this giant flying waffle thing.

IMG_1641Can I have some ham with that waffle?

Then we succeeded in locating a little grocery store where we stocked up on the essentials.


IMG_1652Armed with some Cillit Bang! and KKKookies, we were ready to take on the day!

Sevilla (and I’m hoping that the rest of Spain) is a pretty sexy city! Folks here seem to take pride in their looks and their confident sexuality.  The women look fine in their form-fitting outfits, low cut tops and leggy legs. I always appreciated a fine set of gams. The dude’s all look good either riding scooters in suits or walking around in their skinny jeans, 3-day beards and low slung murses. Lots of public displays of affection (a good thing!) and ass-grabbing (mostly by women – another good thing!) was everywhere. I sat overlooking a square for about an hour with a couple of cold beers taking in the sights. Lots of asses were grabbed by the locals while clueless tourists staggered about lost in the confusing grid of the streets. I’m not too sure which I enjoyed more, the asses be clutched or the tourists yelling at each other.

IMG_1761Afternoon beers, lost tourists and ass-grabbing. A guy could get used to this.

Maybe it’s the hundreds of years of Catholic oppression, maybe it’s the heat, or maybe it’s just a culture of affection that I’m not used to, but all the sexiness in Sevilla was very impressive. Now if only my bony ass could get some grabbing!

There are tons of churches and monuments and Catholic celebrations around the town. I’m an atheist but I really like churches. I love how insanely huge and ostentatious they are. Why did/do they feel the need to build them so big? It’s like they’re shouting at their god’s “Hey God, look at me, I’m so cool and I love you long time!” This one dominates the town. And it is pretty awesome.


IMG_1735My God’s dick is bigger than your God’s dick!


There can be only one true god…The Dangler!

Sevilla is a lovely city with many great things to see and do. And do not, such as defy gravity while you pee.


And in case you become ill or lose a limb or whatever, there are doctors. Doctors with funny names and lots of letters describing what they do. I’m sure that this means something. Either that or they had a sale on letters.

IMG_1710“Paging Dr. Moron. Please meet Dr. Idiot and Dr. Stupid in the ROTFLMFAO lab”

Gus and I have taken to photo-bombing tourists whenever we get the chance. He might be going overboard with it but he’s pretty hilarious. We can’t show show any results for obvious reasons but Swanson got photo-bombed himself. Apparently by evil Burl Ives (credit to Burl Ives joke goes to James)…

IMG_1757“I may want to eat that child!”

And there was some cool art to enjoy…



And much fabulous food and drink to be had! I’ll take Spain over Portugal any day for the eats (sorry Portugal, I love you, but when it comes to food, Spain will always be my mistress). And thanks to our friend Jesus for all the great recommendations – food and places to check out!


Quail eggs on spicy sausage!. Wait, are those eggs looking at me?!


Swanson has become a connoisseur of a particular brand of Fanta.


Squid and tiny scallops on some fried noodle affair. Oh baby!

We’re off to Granada for some more sexy Spanish hijinks. Talk at you soon.

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