The Longer Longest Day: The Longerist Day

So after the hustle and bustle of the Jordan and Cambodia portions of the trip where we were pretty much go-go-go everyday looking at great shit, we decided that some relaxing beach action was required. Now only to get there…

We mapped out our route from Siem Reap to our lovely beach bungalow on the island of Koh Phangnan, Thailand. What was the cheapest way of getting there? Trains, planes and automobiles. We took a total of eight different vehicles (I was hoping for a Zeppelin but to no avail) over a span of 27 hours to reach our destination. They ranged from cool and enjoyable things like Mr. Moth’s Tuk-tuk to one particular nightmarish hellride.

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Hamming it up with some dummies at the airport (plane was delayed by 2 hours).

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When in Cambodia, we use Mr. Moth’s Tuk-tuk service. Ask for him by name.

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We usually had less monkeys on our Tuk-tuk trips.

A quick one hour flight from Cambodia to Bangkok was followed by a speedy cab ride to the train station. OK so far! Only a 12 hour overnight train ride stood in front of us. No worries, it’ll be fun we told ourselves. I can plug in the computer and watch a film or two. We each get our own sleeping bunk. There’s a restaurant car for some eats and drinks. It’s all good.

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Some mystery food on the flight. Beats the disgusting shrimp sandwich they served going to Cambodia.

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Nice looking train station! This looks promising.

We had a few hours to kill before the train so we popped across the street for a couple of beers. Saw a couple of monks hanging out at the 7-Eleven eating Pocky and chatting on their cell phones. Don’t see that everyday.

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Those wacky monks.

First, a quick stop in one of the most disgusting bathrooms I’ve ever encountered (and I’ve seen some doozies in my time) in the train station. An overwhelming stench of feces, piss and death assaulted the nostrils as one peed into a very well-used trough. The sinks had fetid wet towels rolled up in front of them (no idea what they were for, didn’t want to find out). The sink I used was full of hair. Poor Swanson had to use a stall just after a huge sweaty guy emerged from it (didn’t flush the toilet either). And on top of it all one had to actually pay to use the bathroom. It was so gross. Anyways, onto the train!

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Nope, not this one.

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This is our depressing, uncomfortable, loud hell train). Only 12 hours to go!.

I did my best to try to hide my utter disappointment regarding the train accommodations. (I’m not very good at doing this, as Tami pointed out). It was really cold due to the air conditioning, there were no plug ins, so no movies and after the beds were folded down, I realized that mine was about a foot shorter than I am. Well, let’s go to the restaurant car and have something to eat and drink! That was a mistake as well. They had stopped serving booze on the trains earlier in the year due to some undisclosed “incident”. Bummer. But that wasn’t a big deal as I just would have had to use the gross train bathrooms more during the night. After I brushed off all the ants that were clamouring all over the table, we ordered some food. It was OK – bland and lifeless much like the train itself. But no sooner had I got rid of the ants, they were back with reinforcements. Damn things.

So we settled into our bunks for the night. First time I’ve gone to bed at 8pm in a long time. It was cramped, but somewhat cozy I guess. It’ll give me some time to read my book – I was about 700 pages into the 12,000 page of the 5th book of Game of Thrones: A Wearing of Pants or something like that. I turned on my little light and it was all good. Until a short while later when my light battery died. Time for sleep. Hah! Trying to sleep on the incredibly loud and bouncy train was akin to sleeping in a blender on a roller coaster! I kept picturing a toy train being shook and tossed about by a psychopathic toddler. Or a kitten that was being swatted around by a bad man. I was really feeling sorry for myself at this point, wishing I was in my warm bed at home instead of sloshing around this hell car hurtling through the dark Thai night. Swanson amazed me once again as he slept the entire night while I managed maybe 1 -2 hours.

Six am in the morning and we’re here. Or somewhere. My brain was a little scattered. We jump on a bus for an hour that takes us to the water where we board a small weird shuttle to get to our boat – an ageing steamer (that sounds gross!).

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My new nickname. Wish I had this on a shirt.

We sat out in the sun for about 2 1/2 hours having to endure the 3 idiots form India getting progressively drunk on Breezers. They were rude and boorish and moronic making fun of the way the locals talked and such. Swanson even leaned over to me at one point and said, “These guys are pretty dumb, eh Dad?” I imagine that they were going to the full moon party later that night. I hope that they barfed all over each other and passed out before is got dark.

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I’m on a boat!

We made it to the island and climbed into to back of our hosts pickup to be whisked away to our final destination. A long trip but well worth it. Now for a month of sun and beach and good food and drinks and…

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That’s a bold statement! I make a pretty mean bbq potato myself. (Actually , it was pretty damn good)

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The view from our bungalow. Ya, it’s alright.

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Obligatory sunset shot.

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Swanson gives this place the thumbs up, gangsta style!

6 thoughts on “The Longer Longest Day: The Longerist Day

  1. Darken,
    I just got back from China – what an amazing trip. Glad to see you and the family have landed at the Seaflower. We were there many many many years ago… Lovely spot to spend Xmas that is for sure. On that topic, you will be missed over the silly season. We’re hosting a Winter Wonderland party on Friday and the guest list isn’t the same without your names on it! Be well and keep up the blog, it’s really great.

    • Wow! China. Cool. I’m happy to hear you had an amazing time. Something for us to think about…
      Yes, the Seaflower is great -I imagine that it’s changed quite a bit since you were here. Lovely place.
      I love your parties! Sad we are not going to be able to attend. Take some photos for us! We’ll be back soon enough for some good time fun. We’re thinking probably at the beginning of July so we have the summer!
      Thanks for the compliment! Nice to see someone’s reading it.

      Take care

      D and T and G

  2. No one reads this man… save some time and quit the incompetent typing.

    watch out for snakes in the palm trees at the Sunflower.

    • Is my typing really inchocompentance? What am I trying to say with words not photos? I am pleasure. Water is wet and warm.
      Snakes be gone! It’s spiders that keep me awake. The owls are not what they seem…

  3. You ever gonna update this? So little free time while lounging by the beach? jeesh. Pick up the pace. Man that shirt is still looking good.

    • Funny you should mention that. I was going to try to get something up in the next day or so. Not doing to much to write about to be honest. But I have some thoughts and photos I know everyone will want to see!

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